I wish it weren’t true, but….

Oct 10, 2023

For years I fought for their love; for their acceptance, compassion, commitment, loyalty, celebration, and protection. I fought for others to love me. 

Why wouldn’t they stay? 

Why wouldn’t they treat me with the same love I offered? 

What was wrong with me? 

Well, it’s because my standards were too low. I was tolerating the bare minimum and basic attention and behaviors and interpreting it as love. I was also giving too much and getting confusion, withdrawal, and avoidance. Why was I begging for their attention? 

Sound familiar? Not only was this my people-pleasing nature, but also my conditioning as a woman. Give to get. Abandon me, my body, and my heart for their “love.” 

After one relationship ended, I asked: What could I do better in my next relationship? “You could raise your standards,” they said. Huh. What does that mean…

It was here that I understood that I wasn’t respecting myself. Crossing my boundaries didn’t come with consequences. I gave too many chances. I missed the signs telling me it was time to go. I was insecure and letting their attention dictate my movements in life. I was compassionate with their lives at my expense. LIKE WTF?!

One day I asked: Why am I fighting for them to love ME? 

The voice inside me said: Oh, hell no. You deserve more. Are you willing to give that to yourself? 

When I started fighting for my own love, I found my worthiness, self-respect, and reasons to protect myself. Then, I decided to treat myself with respect and only give people access to my precious time and energy when they showed me that they would protect my peace. 

Dear loves,

Nov 03, 2023

Confidence comes from knowing...

Oct 21, 2023

I wish it weren’t true, but….

Oct 10, 2023