Your time isn’t a Gift. It’s a LOAN! part 2 of 2Jun 20, 2023
There are energy gainers and energy drainers in life. When we are fully self-sourced and excited to do something, the energy that we receive (and give) is coming from a place of authentic "F*CK YES!" It's an inspired energy and nourishes EVERYONE.
When we move from obligation or "have to" or "should," the energy is dragging and draining. In this place, EVERYONE feels the no, (Or the NOT full yes) and it can feel icky and energetically sucking for all involved. This is how resentment and burnout happens. Divorces happen in this realm. If one is always sacrificing their needs, they become a martyr and depleted (this isolated them and those around them.)
NOW, there are those with BIG responsibilities, like people with children. Like YOU maybe. There are little humans that literally need people to live and survive. My idea here is that when you take *some* time to nourish and nurture your OWN needs, to get the rest you need, and to live in your F*CK YES (even SOME of the time), you can show up better for those around you. For your beloveds, for your children. AND secondary gain, is that you teach them to honor themselves, their needs, and their boundaries because you are teaching them through your example. This builds secure attachment.
I don't see LOVE as sacrifice anymore. Because I once did. The social idea that taking care of one's needs is selfish is actually a pretty harmful and patriarchal concept to keep us all at the edge of our emotional, physical resources. I also felt really guilty for taking time and nourishing myself but what I learned is that it was a social story that I needed to be in service to be loved or that if I wasn't in complete service those I loved, it meant I didn't love them.... IT was eye opening to me how untrue that was. I could LITERALLY love and serve the better when I was nourished, inspired, and rested.
I find that when I say yes when I mean yes or no when I feel a no, people respect me more, because they feel that I can be trusted to tell the truth. They also feel honored that I trust them enough to be honest...
Don't get me wrong, it's all a big game of balance and discernment and there are certainly times to meet another's needs and other times when you need to meet your own. Coming to a balance is important here.