The Toll of Abandonment

Jun 20, 2023

Years of abandonment really takes its toll. Doesn’t it sweet love?


The constant questioning if “I’m doing it right?” “Will they love me if I bend this way or that?” “Why does this keep happening?” is exhausting and disheartening.


Geez, the disempowerment that consumes this life, sucks the very breath of joy from our aliveness. Do you know what I’m talking about?


Love, I see you. Standing there with WTF written all over your face. GIVE UP heavy in the palm of your hands. I LIVED in that place for years. YEARS!!! I just can’t anymore. Won’t.


The abandonment you’ve been feeling… is the place where you have left yourself behind.


Where you’ve still let that person back into your life, bed, or home because you were lonely or horny?


Where you said Yes to something that felt like you were selling yourself short?


Where you stayed too long that you hurt yourself or let them hurt you?


Where you have acted, behaved, and moved from OBLIGATION, just to create resentment?


Where do you suffer for another?


What if I told you that there are other ways to live?


Do you know that YOU have everything inside of you, right now, to feel alive, empowered, and free? (AND you don’t have to burn your life down to do it.)


Would you make a move or is it easier to stay in the rhythm?


Today, you have a choice to choose yourself and it is as simple as giving yourself empathy and sharing your vulnerable truth with others. Self love is practice and commitment to aligning your words and actions to your values. It’s about showing up for yourself, so that YOU CAN SHOW UP FOR OTHERS.


This small process changed my life. It gives me the opportunity to speak from my wants and needs and be more understanding of others. It helps me build my compassion. Try it and see what it does for you!



1. Acknowledging the thoughts for no more that 15 seconds: Just first thought/sentence

2. Drop down, state your feelings. What do you feel?

3. Go deeper, what do you want? Honoring wants and needs

4. Be honest with yourself: Can the other people meet your needs/wants?

5. EVEN IF they can, how can you self-resource and meet your own needs in a healthy way?


Photographer: Michael Moore

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